Well, it's time for a movie review! Today's target: FearDotCom. What a turd.

OK. This movie is supposed to be about a website that messes you up. I mean REALLY messes you up. Well, we are living in the cyber age, so it only seems natural that a horror movie try to intigrate the internet into the plot. Well screw me in the ear and call me Buffy because they really short-changed the crack ho on this one!

First off, not only is the address of the website NOT www.fear.com, it's www.feardotcom.com. How scary is spelling out the "dot com" supposed to be? Not only is that lame, but if you go to the first site, all you get is some articles about random junk by people who think they can write. Hmm, maybe I should give that one a second look. But anyway, if you go to (God, I really hate myself for even going there) feardotcom.com it's just some crap trying to get you to watch the lameass movie! It's not scary at all!

Besides the fact that neither the in-movie nor out-of-movie website exactly strikes fear in my heart, the way that it is supposed to kill you is even lamer. Basically, a lot of scary stuff takes place IN YOUR HEAD. So, the outside world just sees you sitting there with a stoned look on your face. In your mind though, there's some chick with a ball who is boring and wants her killer to be punished (yawn). Eventually she messes up your mind to the point that you die in real life after 48 hours. Honey, you didn't have to take that long. 48 minutes into the movie, I wished I was already dead.

Long story short, don't waste your time.



staff out...

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