Well, since we have never entirely screwed up a movie by adding computer-animated graphics, then allow us to cast the first stone. Today, we are going to take a very risky step as we venture into some of the darkest parts of the new Lord of the Rings movie, "The Two Towers". OK, we hate to target something so cherished and treasured by the sci-fi subculture, but the time has come for someone to say something.

Yes, "The Fellowship of the Ring" was a "masterpiece" and everyone loved it. Even the book-type people who insist that every single movie that is based on a book should be exactly like the novel, page for page were impressed. However, things appear to be taking a turn for the worse with "The Two Towers". The major complaint? Too many computer animated graphics.

The comic relief of both Golem/Smeeeeegel and Gimley seemed a little too much. The complete animation of Golem was an atrocity. He was like an evil Jar Jar Binks. "Meesa like it raw...and wrrrrrigglin'!" "Meesa got a new master now!" Yeah, and whoever's idea it was to make that...thing...will have a new ass if he ever meets the ekajsmash staff. The animated mounts for the Ringwraiths were OK, but the eyes on the ents... They reminded me of the computer-animated eyes on a cat in a kitty liter commercial that I once saw. Apparently, he got really excited about not having to smell his own feces, so his eyes got really big and his mouth dropped open. His eyes looked exactly like the ones on the ents. Hmm, I guess I found out who was responsible after all.

staff out...

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