Ekajsmash is all about D&D, sci-fi conventions, RPG's and conspiracies. Well, we also enjoy playing Magic: The Gathering. Today we're going to focus on a certain group of the MTG players known as scrubs. Yes, that's right, scrubs. You know them, you love them. They're the guys that waltz in the store and start thumbing through thousands of commons. They're the guys who have shit for trade. They're the guys who pay in pennies. And they're the guys we love to beat. Here are the top 10 signs that you're a scrub:

10) You've never won a tournament (and not many friendly games, unless against other scrubs).
9) You don't put your deck in sleeves.
8) When a new set comes out, you scrape together enough pennies to buy a grand total of 3 booster packs.
7) You love dragons because they're "way cool" and you try to collect one of each.
6) You then try in vain to construct a deck of all the shitty dragons you've collected.
5) No one knows your name.
4) Sometimes you're such a random scrub, you don't even know your name.
3) You put uncommons and sometimes even "really cool" commons in your trade binder.
2) Your red/black "goblin deck" consists of 4 goblins and 1 Dralnu's Crusade.
1) You keep your deck in the pocket of your jeans.

Here is a song written by TLC about Scrubs. The aired version was different though.

A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly
And is also known as a loser
Always talkin' about what he wants
He just sits on his three boosters
So...(no)

I don't want your commons(no)
I don't wanna give you mine and (no)
You're not gonna' beat me no way (no)
Not even if I was blind and (no)

I don't want no scrub,
A scrub is a guy that can't get no rares from me,
Hanging out the passenger side,
Of his mother's ride,
Trying to borrow a dollar from me.

I don't want no scrub,
A scrub is a guy that can't get no rares from me,
Hanging out the passenger side,
Of his mother's ride,
Trying to borrow a dollar from me.

And a scrubs is deckin' me,
But his game is kinda weak,
And I know that he can not beat me,
Cause I'm kickin' his ass and he's looking like trash,
Can't play 'cause you're not leet.
So...(no)

I don't want your commons (no)
I don't wanna give you mine and (no)
You're not gonna' beat me no way (no)
Not even if I was blind and (no)

I don't want no scrub,
A scrub is a guy that can't get no rares from me,
Hanging out the passenger side,
Of his mother's ride,
Trying to borrow a dollar from me.

I don't want no scrub,
A scrub is a guy that can't get no rares from me,
Hanging out the passenger side,
Of his mother's ride,
Trying to borrow a dollar from me.

If you don't have a car and you're walking
Oh yes son, I'm talking to you,
You live at home with your momma (I'm talking to you)
Oh yes son, I'm talking to you,
You have a shitty deck but you won't quit,
Oh yes son, I'm talking to you,
Wanna get cards with no money,
Oh no, I don't want no, ohhhhh

No scrub, no scrub, no no,
No scrub, no scrub, no no,

I don't want no scrub,
A scrub is a guy that can't get no rares from me,
Hanging out the passenger side,
Of his mother's ride,
Trying to borrow a dollar from me.

I don't want no scrub,
A scrub is a guy that can't get no rares from me,
Hanging out the passenger side,
Of his mother's ride,
Trying to borrow a dollar from me.


staff out...

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