EVP - Electronic Voice Phenomena. Thanks to the new movie, White Noise, everyone already knows that. In fact, how could you help from knowing that after all the comercials? Well, let's talk about EVP for a while, and then let's talk about White Noise.

The basic theory of EVP's is that spirits of those who have passed over can communicate with us through the static (or "white noise") of electronic devices. You can turn on a TV to a snowy channel and see pictures, make an audio recording and hear noises, take pictures and have ghosts appear, or even use a vibrator and get...ok, let's just stick to TV's, photos and recordings. So you get the idea. If you want some examples, watch this video.

Since the movie came out, we decided to conduct some research of our own. We started casually chatting with some spirits when one of them asked us "Wanna see a movie?" We then said that White Noise was out and suggested it, to which we got this sarcastic response: "Good luck". We're pretty sure that the spirits are clearly trying to tell us not to pay to see this barrel of dog shit.

The movie is based on something fairly cool. But, leave it to Hollywood to take something decent and completely screw it up. The storyline, if you can call it that, is weak. It follows the modern formula of "loud noise + sudden movement = scary". There is not one moment in this movie that it could cause a reaction other than a slight jolt from a 12 year old girl. And aside from Michael "Batman" Keaton, the film's stars can't act their way out of a disemboweled tauntaun. Overall rating? This movie is a giant douche.

To make sure, we did one final test. We bought a giant douche and contacted some spirits through the douche's cleansing power. We then asked them, "If the movie White Noise is a giant douche, please let us know by doing nothing". Then what happened? Absolutely nothing. No leaks, no odor, not even a tiny bubble. So that settles it. White Noise is a gigantic douche.

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