To celebrate the DVD/VHS release of Eminem's acting debut and life story, 8 Mile, today's update is dedicated to none other than Marshall Mathers. Mathers, Eminem, Slim Shady, The Bleached-Blonde Chihuahua of Rap. Whatever you want to call him, it's all the same...uh, kindof like his music. Honestly, I like Eminem's music and I don't usually shoot on things that I like, but today I just had to make the exception.

Have you ever noticed that in about 50% of his songs, Eminem talks about being "back"? Where has he been? Did we really care? In the other 50%, he usually talks about being poor, gay or untalented. Y'know, it's said that the lyrics to a song reflect how a person feels on the inside. So, from the looks of it, ol' M is more than just a little bitter and sexually confused. Instead of "Cleanin' out the closet", I think he means that he's "Comin' out the closet". Oh, Marshal. Why do you think that people actually care about what you do? If you honestly wanted people to quit protesting you, then you'd quit singing about people protesting you. It's that simple. You're only in it for the money, one of the biggest sellouts in rap history.

Sure there are some catchy beats and the lyrical hooks are sometimes quite amusing and easy to sing along to, but scratch the surface and see what's really going on. That's right. M is raping you. We're paying around $20 a cd to listen to Marshall read a tabloid article with bad grammar (it's between "you and me", not "you and I"...more on this later).

But, back to the movie. It comes out on DVD/VHS on 3/18/03 which is good, because that's the only way I'd ever watch it. It is supposed to be the story of a young rapper (named Jimmy Smith Jr.) in Detroit who struggles with his anger and social status through music. ::Yawn:: Wasn't Marshall born in Kansas City?

staff out...

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