Dating. Each year billions of US dollars are spent researching it, thousands of books are written about it and countless people around the world are either elated, aggravated or completely destroyed by it. Why do males do 99% of the things they do? To attract members of the opposite sex. At this point in time, we could go in any number of directions with the analysis and fill volume after volume with extensive research. However, we would like to keep things simple and break down dating into just a few of the parts that comprise the act as a whole.

Casual dating may be thought of as owning a personal computer and occasionally upgrading it. For example, let's say that you are currently dating the equivalent of a 6 on our d20 based random chicks game. This would be the same as having the standard graphics card that came with your system. Sure, you can play all the games and still have some fun, but you know that things could be a lot faster and you wouldn't get as much lag with a new card. So, you see a female (around 7 or 8 on the d20) who is slightly interested in you. Of course you upgrade! There is no hesitation - especially if it doesn't cost much more. Remember, shipping is included in the price of all parts listed on

Serious dating, however is like signing a year-long contract with AOL. At first it was fun, exciting and something different. You saw how easy it was to talk and even LOL. Now, you just get tired of hearing that irritating "you've got mail" type of voice. You find yourself visiting sites you never would have otherwise. You wish you could just say "goodbye" and break off from the entire situation.

Sometimes, when you think you have found the perfect girl - maybe a 14 or better but sure enough, just like how layers of an onion can be peeled back, you find out one hidden secret after another (she's got children she didn't tell you about, she's a crack whore, she's mentally insane, she listens to country music, etc. etc. etc.) and you are left with nothing but tears...and some stinky onion scraps. These are the X-10 pop-under ad girls. You type in a keyword on your search engine and the results show a really cool looking site. When you click on it, however, you are flooded with a zillion ads (mostly pr0n). When you either click on the back button or try to close these demons out, another one spawns and takes you to sites that you would never would have visited otherwise.

Of course, sometimes you buy the coolest looking model of PC on the market just because it "looks really good". All the bells and whistles can barely hide the lack of memory. If it gets to the point that you have to reboot your more often than you have to change your underwear, something is definitely wrong.

Most guys will do anything (read "ANYthing") just to be able to say that they have a girlfriend. This may include going dress shopping, going to country music concerts, going dancing or even visiting her family. Just because you have a 286, don't go acting like you have a 2 gig processor. Take a step back and just look at all the work you're having to do just to stick your disk in and try to read a file! You know it will only take you a few seconds to read the file, but it takes the computer forever to get ready to read it, think about it some more, open up her application and then begin to read the file. By the time she's ready to display the information, you're ready to go to sleep.

staff out...

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