When I saw the previews for this movie a few months ago, I knew then and there that this would be a gigantic turd. The Core opens this Friday, March 28 in theaters around the world. The whole premise of the movie is that the United States has created a weapon to kill enemies. What is this weapon? The Earth, of course. How does it work? It kills people with earthquakes.



Uh...



Even IF this were possible, it is entirely lame! I mean come the hell on! "Help, the Earth's core has stopped spinning and monkeys have started flying out of my ass! You have to make it better!" "Uh, the non-spinning core or the monkeys?" "Hmm...one is about as believable as the other, so you'd better get to work on both!" Honestly, I think that the plot of Star Wars is more realistic than this turd wagon.

The official scoop:
Scientists discover that the Earth's core is about to stop spinning. This will cause tremendous natural disasters, wiping out life as we know it. A team of scientists is recruited in a crash project to send a ship and bomb into the center of the Earth to prevent the catastrophe.

This has to be the world's shittiest plot. Hell, fear.crap has a better storyline. I would point out all the holes in the plot but I don't have enough webspace and I don't want to insult your inteligence. Anyway, the movie stars Aaron Eckhart, Nicole Leroux, Hilary Swank (best known for The Next Karate Kid), DJ Qualls (The New Guy, obvious comic relief) and a bunch more people that I've never heard of. The tagline of this movie is "Earth has a deadline." Well, if we have to watch this movie by the end of that deadline, just let the whole thing explode...or implode...or quake itself to death or whatever the hell they plan on doing in this hunk of shit.


staff out...

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